Get Into Your Heart To Strengthen Your Connection
It’s easy to lose track of who you really are. After all, friends and family have lovingly and unconsciously programmed you since you were barely able to walk. When you were little you lived 100% from the heart. You cried when you were hungry or uncomfortable, and you laughed when you were happy. Your parents took care of you and loved you unconditionally if you were lucky. But as you grew and your awareness of others increased, you noticed that certain behaviors had a positive payoff. By looking pretty (or handsome), playing nicely with others, minding your manners, giving Grandma a hug (if you wanted to or not), you received love and approval from the adults around you.
The older you got the more complicated these rules became. Before long you stopped doing what you wanted and started living the life others expected you to live. Doing that took effort and thought, so to keep track of everything you had to do to please other people, your brain had to work harder, and you spent less time in your heart space and more in your head space. At the same time, your inner voice – the voice of your - soul became fainter and fainter.
Where are you spending your time?
When you’re in your head, life takes effort. You’re working and pushing yourself every minute. You are consumed with how your life looks from the outside.
Here’s how self-talk might sound when you’re in your head:
I need to work harder.
I should be making more money.
What do people think when they see my home/clothes/car.
I didn’t have enough (money, attention, love) as a child and I want to make up for it now.
My life doesn’t look interesting enough on my Instagram feed!
When you’re living from the heart you might say:
I am grounded when I’m working in my garden.
I feel fulfilled when I’m in a job where I can help people.
I spend time with people who bring me joy.
I check in with my inner voice when I make a decision.
The past doesn’t effect how I live my life today.
Moving back to the heart space.
How do you make the shift from head to heart? You may have spent so much time trying to please people that you barely even remember what you want. That's where mindfulness comes in! When you slow down and pay attention to your feelings, suddenly everything becomes clear and simple. With your trusty intuition to guide you, you make better decisions about everything from friends and relationships to finances and career choices. And you no longer have the nagging discomfort that comes from living someone else’s life.
Making the shift from head to heart is – just let go! Spend less time reliving the past and worrying about the future, and tune in to the NOW. Sit in the stillness and connect with your feelings.
Try this exercise to tap into your heart:
Sit outside quietly. Use your senses to experience the ground under your feet, listen to the birds, and feel the breeze. Slow everything down. Now tune into the feelings that being in nature evoke in you. Look at the tree in front of you. How does it make you feel? Start by sensing the vibration of everything around you – trees, rocks, grass, sky. Then bring your awareness back inside yourself. What emotions are you experiencing? Do you feel calm, anxious, optimistic? Sit with those emotions, and acknowledge them. Now throughout the day, check in with your heart. What is it telling you? When you feel yourself overthinking – steer your attention back to how you feel.
You’ve heard me say again and again that you are not here to live someone else’s life. The key to living your own authentic life – to experience your soul destiny – is to live from the heart. When in doubt, turn your focus inward and let your intuition guide you - it’s the voice of your soul!