Long Distance Love
For many couples the greatest test for a relationship is seperation. While the old adage holds that "absence makes the heart grow fonder", the equally valid "out of sight out of mind" can also prove true in many long distance relationships. Couples can be forced to spend time apart for many reasons, such as work or to attend university, or you may return to different places after a holiday. Whatever the reason for seperation, the difficulty of making sure the relationship doesn't flounder under the strain is very much the same.
Intimacy and closeness are the building blocks of any relationship, with time spent together being the essential ingredients. Without this, any relationship will have difficutly surviving, but today, the pain of seperation which results from being seperated from a lover can be eased in a number ways, thanks largely to the variety of modern communication methods available. Text messages, email, international phone calls and even video conferencing are all ways you can instantly bridge distances that would have been unthinkable years ago. Today, you need never feel totally isolated from your absent love.
Unlike the story of Abelard and Heloise....
Abelard and Heloise are one of the most celebrated couples of all time, known for their love affair... and for the tragedy that separated them.
In a letter to Abelard, Heloise wrote: "You know, beloved, as the whole world knows, how much I have lost in you, how at one wretched stroke of fortune that supreme act of flagrant treachery robbed me of my very self in robbing me of you; and how my sorrow for my loss is nothing compared with what I feel for the manner in which I lost you."
It's perhaps the most tragic love story ever ... Abelard and Heloise were two well-educated people, brought together by their passion, then separated by the act of her uncle's vengeance.
Abelard was a brilliant Parisian scholar, and Heloise was a young girl known for her beauty and intellect. Abelard persuaded her protective uncle to let him continue the young girl's education in her home, and the pair began a passionate, but secret affair. When the affair was discovered her uncle forbade contact and the pair fled to Abelard's family home where Heloise bore him a son. They married in secret and hoped this would legitimise their union but not hurt Abelard's career, where marrriage was frowned upon. But Heloise's uncle revealed their secret and Heloise fled again, to the security of a convent.
Heloise's uncle wanted revenge and had Abelard attacked and castrated. A shamed Abelard turned to the Dominican order and became a monk and persuaded his young wife to become a nun. But the relationship didn't end there. Abelard always ensured her physical and economic safety and over time the two began talking again. While their bodies were apart their minds and souls were as united as ever. When Abelard died Heloise ensured that his body was brought to her so that she would later be able to lay by his side forever.Keeping Love Alive
The story of Abelard and Heloise shows that love is about more than just being together. To make any relationship work you have to believe in it and be willing to make sacrifices. Abelard and Heloise's lives were torn apart, but they never turned on each other or stopped thinking of what the other needed. A relationship is about work, being there for the good times as well as the bad and always keeping the other in your heart - where ever they are.
1. Have a keepsake of your beloved to make sure that they are always in your thoughts.
2. Take 10 minutes (or longer) every day to think about why you are together and why they are so special to you.
3. Work at keeping in touch - even if it means re-orering your life to make it possible.
4. If the relationship is meant to be... you will get through the seperation no matter how long.....