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 Please read M.

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PostSubject: Please read M.    Tue Mar 28, 2017 6:10 pm

Hello M,

Tuesday afternoon and you haven't contacted me at all since last week. Not even to say goodbye,  i'm left guessing.

I'm sorry if you didn't like what I said on the phone last week.  I tried ringing you back to explain it but your phone was already switched off. At first I thought your signal was still dead but it became apparent as time continued that it was indeed switched off.  

I explained the reason behind what I said on the phone in a post on Avalonia.  I thought you would have read that and replied to it, and at least been made aware of why I said what I did.  My hope was that it would open your eyes and maybe do something about it.   I figured you didn't realize what you were doing to us as you were so busy with work, and your mind was on that.   All I was doing in that post was giving you the opportunity to see, but you used that opportunity to break us up, and now I feel such a fool for not seeing what was staring me right in the face. I believed your word so easily, I actually believed you loved me, loved us. It was so obvious when I stepped back, that your recent behaviour was simply leading up to you breaking up with me.  Again, proved by your lack of contact.  

If someone told me a few months ago, this is how we were going end, I would have laughed at them, but it's been days since you phoned me, so by your lack of contact one can only surmise that you wish no further contact.  Rather obvious statement that, but had you wanted contact you would have phoned me, which you haven't, so it's obvious you no longer wish contact.

This will be the last time you will hear from me as I don’t like to linger where I am not wanted.  I won't bother you again as it clear by your lack of contact or any explanations for lack of contact, you do not wish to be with me anymore.  I'm making it easy for you. I've explained my reasons for the phone call, and for the post on Avalonia, but your silence and your absence speaks volumes.  

I will ask you to keep the bank open so I can continue paying you until the debt is repaid in full.  But again, you know me well enough to know I would insist on that.   If I could repay you now, I would do so, so you could have your wish and be completely free of me.  All I can do is promise to repay you as soon as I can.  

Could you please acknowledge when you have read this.

I wish you well,
I wish you happiness,
Above all, I wish you love.  
Cliché...  but happens to be the truth.  
Good luck with the Academy, and I wish your Mother blessings and love.

It's killing me losing you, but you already know that too.
Jody
xxxx
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PostSubject: Re: Please read M.    Tue Mar 28, 2017 10:25 pm

Hi Jody xxxx

I did read your post on avalonia last week, and my take on it was that all I do is hurt you and my conclusion is that you are best off without me.

In saying that, that's not what I really want, but I'm not being fair on you, and expecting far too much from you, whilst expecting you to wait, wait and wait even more, whilst I attempt in some way to sort my life out.

What you said on the phone was right....but you are always right!

I do want to call you, but I am scared to do so.....and yes I am missing you...... There remains a connection.........there will always be that connection.......

Please don't close down the forum just yet.....

I would say don't worry about paying me back, but I do know you will even if I tell you not you!

Better go now.........

Goodnight xxxxxx and sleep well xxxxx
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PostSubject: Re: Please read M.    Tue Mar 28, 2017 10:27 pm

Why are you scared to phone me?
Where are you? 
Why are you not in work?

What's going on M?
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PostSubject: Re: Please read M.    Tue Mar 28, 2017 10:38 pm

I'm confused by your last response now..... It has changed!

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PostSubject: Re: Please read M.    Tue Mar 28, 2017 10:39 pm

I know.  I added a few more lines to it in edit.

Why are you scared to phone me?
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PostSubject: Re: Please read M.    Tue Mar 28, 2017 10:44 pm

Just scared of your response. Just scared of life generally right now.....

Just going mad perhaps........don't want to hurt you anymore........
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PostSubject: Re: Please read M.    Tue Mar 28, 2017 10:45 pm

Logging off now.......goodnight xxxxxxx

Sleep well xxxxxx
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PostSubject: Re: Please read M.    Tue Mar 28, 2017 10:46 pm

Your hurting me more by staying away and ignoring me...  can't you see that?

Do you want to break up with me?   if you do just say so M...  please don't keep me guessing.
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PostSubject: Re: Please read M.    Tue Mar 28, 2017 10:48 pm

My replies are slow...  its the computer.

I wish I knew what you wanted to do.  A definitive yes your breaking up with me,  or no your not,  M.

Goodnight M xxxx

Sleep well xxxx
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